Dear Mananya’s friends,
April 20, 2011
9:45 AM in Santa Barbara
This email is about my dear friend Dr Mananya Tantiwiwat, or Nammon (น้ำมนต์) who passed away on April 18, 2011, in Santa Barbara, California.
The Tantiwiwat family has made every attempt during this difficult time to ensure that this email only goes to those who know Mananya. If you feel that you are not related to this matter, please kindly ignore this email or reply with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the first line and your email address will be removed from the list. Please also accept my sincerest apology if you have received this email multiple times.
Now, for the updates …
== ONE LEGACY
Yesterday morning (Tuesday, April-19, 2011) at around 9 AM, the recovery team from One Legacy, a donate life organization (www.onelegacy.org), has recovered both corneas (กระจกตา) from Mananya. Thanks to Mananya’s final act of kindness, a lucky complete stranger will get to see the beautiful world again. The formal consent for such organ/tissue donation was given over the phone by her mother at around 12:15 AM of the same day. It was a long phone call in the middle of the night, and it had to be done that night before the corneas would become unusable. By giving this consent, the family has fulfilled Mananya’s wish as stated in her advance healthcare directive (signed on January-26, 2011, to which I was honored to be a witness together with Pam). The sparkle in her eyes will continue to shine and light up the world.
== VISITING MANANYA
You may visit Mananya today (Wed, April-20, 2011) from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM at this place:
McDermott-Crockett & Associates Mortuary
2020 Chapala Street, Santa Barbara, CA 93105
(Chapala at Mission)
Tel: 800-842-5241 or 805-569-2424 http://www.mcdermottcrockett.com/
The family plans to be there at 1 PM. We may or may not stay until 5 PM depending on the situation.
== THE TRAVEL PLAN
Jennifer at McDermott-Crockett has told that she expects the travel date to be this Friday, April-22, 2011. She and her family (mom, dad, and brother) will accompany her on TG 795 from Los Angeles (LAX) to Bangkok (BKK). Departure time is 11:20 PM. Mananya’s body needs to get there by 6 PM.
== THE FUNERAL IN THAILAND
She will be resting at the temple Temple Wat Phra Sri Maha Taat at Bang Khen, Phahol Yothin Rd, Bangkok for 7 days from Sunday April-24 to Sunday May-1, during which time there will be chanting by Buddhist monks and related Thai-Buddhist ceremony. She will be cremated on May-1. For those who are unfamiliar with a Thai-style funeral, I will try to find a useful educational material on the web and will share it with you at a later time. (Or if you find it, please send it to me and I’ll disseminate. Thank you!) For now, the important thing to know is that: during the 7-day ceremony, Mananya and the family will welcome the visitors at the temple each evening. People, wearing all black and/or white, will listen to the chanting with the family, with social breaks in between sessions. All are welcome and you do not have to be a Buddhist. It will be a chance for the great support system of the Thai culture to help in the grieving process for everybody — the family, the extended family, the thousand of friends near and far away.
== WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR MANANYA
Many people asked how they can help. Sometimes, the feeling of helplessness can be very painful especially for those who are far away. Many people tried to ask me to tell the family beautiful things to cheer them up. Many people really insisted on monetary assistance for Mananya’s parents to help offset the costs of flying here (at moment’s notice), taking care of Mananya and friends (e.g. feeding me everyday), the funeral back home, and related expenses. Some wants to know what Mananya’s favorite charity is so donations can be made in her honor.
After a long discussion with Mananya’s parents (mom and dad), we have made the decisions based on the following guiding principles:
1) Mananya cares deeply about her parents. What makes her parents happy will make her happy.
2) Mananya appreciates the care she has been given in the past three years from the Cancer Center of Santa Barbara. She also likes to “wear pink” in support of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, a foundation that funds breast cancer research and education.
2) Mananya is a proud person and wants to be treated with dignity.
Therefore, the following arrangements have been made and approved by the family:
[*** Way to help #1 ***]
You can send money to Manaya’s parents by transferring money to the Annie’s bank account:
Citibank Checking Account
Name: Teera Chantarojsiri
Account Number 40022408229
Routing Number 321171184
You can also use PayPal by sending money to Annie’s account:
teerachan@gmail.com
(Please choose the option “Personal” gift, not as a “Purchase” which would incur a fee.)
Annie (Teera Chantarojsiri) agrees to take care of the account (both the bank and PayPal). All money (100%) will be given to Mananya’s mom and dad to be spent at their discretion. This is NOT a charitable donation and is NOT tax-deductable. Due to the extremely busy schedule of the family, we apologize that we will not be able to provide a receipt. But we will provide a summarized report when the time allows.
Annie is a trusted friend. She is one of the “Mananya’s daughters”. She has been taking care of Mananya really, really well by her bedside up until the last moment. This plan has been approved by Mananya’s parents and Annie herself on April-19, 2011.
[*** Way to help #2 ***]
You can donate directly, in Mananya’s honor, to the following two organizations that Mananya cares deeply about:
1) The Cancer Center of Santa Barbara
https://secure.ccsb.org/donate/
2) The Susan G. Komen for the Cure
http://ww5.komen.org/Donate/Donate.html
The donations to both organizations are tax deductible.
[*** Please note ***]
As a close friend, I know that Mananya would approve the above plan but would DEFINITELY OBJECT and RESIST any attempt to solicit donations in an aggressive manner. Please feel free to publicize this plan to people who care about her but please do not spam people on her behalf. Please keep that in mind. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful support 🙂
WHAT IF “I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!” ?
Life is so beautiful and taking care of each other is beautiful. The following guide helps us, the livings, take care of each other in a thoughtful manner. I found it to be very useful. 🙂
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm
It includes examples of things to say and things not to say to each other during this difficult time to avoid hurting your loved ones’ feelings unintentionally.
== MANANYA IS A HAPPY PERSON
Of course, having cancer is not something to be happy about, we should truthfully acknowledge that; but please do not let it define Mananya. Her life is so beautiful and has so many dimensions. She is a runner, a biker, a hiker, a Physics nerd, a happy eater, a Del Pueblo Cafe sunday patron, a Four-Mod skeptical lover (believe me, she can sing many songs), and she loves “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars, and “No, No Never” by Texas Lightning (source cited: Moriah), and there’re so many, many positive stories about her. She wants her happy images to be remembered. Those who know Mananya well would know this. Ying Wipawadee knows this, and she made the following wonderful short (5-mins) video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOQL3h0m3ao&feature=player_embedded
When we write stories about her (either in the writing or the video forms), we shall bear this in mind. When we make a decision to do things “for her”, let’s give the priority to Manaya’s wishes rather than our own feeling of loss. 🙂
With Best, Best Regards, and Lots of Love,
– mock
(Panuakdet Suwannatat)
cell: 1-805-450-7320*
P.S.:
*Urgent matters only, please. Already 1,460 airtime minutes and counting! But thanks to Verizon, they agreed to retroactively changed my plan to an unlimited plan just for Mananya (also a Verizon customer). Even Verizon loves Mananya 😉